BEginnings…

It’s funny how my birthday seems to always coincide with a major turning point in my life. But, instead of feeling sad about it, I feel blessed because I know that God always gives me the opportunity to start fresh. Throughout the years I have learned that life is all about new beginnings and what better way to remind me of that but through my birthday.

In the past 12 months I had a lot of changes in my life and the way I view it. I have been through a lot and yet I am still here – standing with my head up high and my feet on the ground. I was betrayed, was belittled, was hospitalized, was unemployed, was discriminated, was hurt, was lost, was rejected, was alienated, and a lot more “was”. But like the verb “was”, it’s all in the past.

It might seem that I have lost a lot this year but in reality those things I thought were losses, were actually blessings in disguise. I guess the reason why I view it that way is because, now more than ever, I have a deeper relationship with God. When I feel that there’s no one I can turn to, I turn to prayer. This helps me prevent being discouraged and stay focused. By being close to Him, I have learned to be patient with people, with work, and with myself. He has taught me that the past doesn’t matter as long as you turn to Him. I may still want a lot of things in my life but I am leaving it all up to Him. In everything I do, Thy will be done. I know that whatever is missing with my life, God will provide because He is my light and my strength.

“For everything there is a season and a time for every purpose in heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Beginning today and everyday of my life, it’s all about moving forward. I have already forgiven all the people that caused me pain and I wish them peace. I will be more obedient to God’s wishes and be more trusting in God. I will be a better person and be more selfless. Lastly, I will be a blessing to others by being more and doing more.

In the end, all I can offer to the people I love is myself. This is why I must always be true to myself and always strive to be a good person. I know that, with God on my side, I will never be alone. He is my sword and my shield.

Thank you Lord for giving me another gift of life and a new BEginning…

“No one is ever stuck anywhere. You are where you need to be right now. And when you finished doing whatever it is that you’re meant to be doing, then you move on.”

Sacred Love

                 Love is universal by nature! It was not meant to be categorized nor defined because it is intrinsically pure and unconditional. But man gave it a meaning and categorized it which polluted the very essence of it. Love shouldn’t be selective or conditional because of its universality. My thoughts of love might be jaded because of the way it was presented to me when I was growing up, but I still believe love in its purest form.

                 Loving a person doesn’t have to be under the condition of what is dictated by the norms. You love someone not because you are physically attracted but because you feel that your souls are connected in the universe. The true essence of love transcends beyond the physicality! Love is the union of souls!

                 We were conditioned to believe that both mind and heart are responsible for love. Well, I beg to disagree! In the physical world, no one really owns anyone. A persons mind and heart cannot be yours alone. True love for me is conquering the soul!

Love is something SACRED, NAMELESS, and TIMELESS! When you learn to love a person beyond the physical, psychological, and emotional level then you have found the real meaning of love.

                 Some of you may call it idealistic, pathetic, or you might find it impossible because of the realities that we face each day of our lives. We all say that love is something that just happens and you can’t force yourself to love someone. Well, I also used to believe that until I came across reading a line from one of my favorite books. Reading that line made me realize that all my thoughts about love was just a form of rationalization because I am afraid to get hurt. (Well I guess all of us do)

                 In that book, it is said that “You do not make yourself love, you allow love to enter you.” When I read that, it struck me that all my life I was searching for love in the wrong places. I was so caught up with the idea that one day I’m going to find love. I became a slave to my own conditions and standards of what I want with love. I kept comparing myself with those people who have someone and I kept thinking that I was not attractive or interesting enough for someone to love me. Little by little, my insecurities were killing the real me. It made me feel so inadequate for anyone that I meet. Because of this I lost my freedom. I was limiting myself to those persons that I thought would make me feel that love is present in my life. I felt like that a part of me died and I always looked for people who will make me feel alive even just for once. “I mean, as much as you want to, you can't rely on someone else to make you feel alive. It's an inside job.” (Jen, Dawson’s Creek)
Well, I was wrong because love is only present when someone is free. A person who loves fully, truthfully, wholeheartedly, and unconditionally is someone who feels free and alive.

                 Although it is impossible to achieve pure love, I would still continue to believe in this because at the end of the day I would still prefer to be free. Pure love would only exist when there is freedom from all of the things that prevents us from loving someone.

                 For now, I would say that pure love only exists in our dreams. But I’ve also heard that when you dream of something or someone, it means that your soul left the physical world and became a part of the universe in which all things are connected. I do believe in that because dreams come from inside your heart and are carried out by the soul in a form of energy that can make you see and appreciate the real beauty and uniqueness of every person. Once you see that beauty, then you can extend from there and get to see their soul. That’s love in its purest form! The love that was given to us by God to make every being in this universe with whom they are most connected with love each other without the interference of the physical world.

                 Let me end this by quoting a line from the animation film Beauty and the Beast. “Do not be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within.”

As the New Year starts, my journey begins...

I got this message from my email today, sent by my auntie. Somehow it captured everything that I hope and wish for this coming New Year!

I have decided to make it my goal this year to do all the things that would make me enjoy life to the fullest. I have decided to take control of my life and to leave all the hurts of the past behind. From now on, no one can tell me what I can or cannot do. I will stay away from people who belittle my ambitions and from now on I wouldn’t compromise my own happiness.


Starting this year...


I will be the best person I can be.

I will appreciate myself more and I will not let anyone get the best of me.

I will become the fighter that I have always been.

I will go the distance. I don’t care how far!

I will keep in mind to just keep on moving on, falling forward towards my goals in life because I know that sooner or later my time will come.

I will be more accepting than tolerant with people who are different like me.

I will find my inner GODDESS until it kills me…

I will not be afraid to try it on my own.

I will live my life the way I feel.

I will seize the moment, realizing that in an instant, I have the potential to move toward each of those possibilities in which I will feel alive and see the truth of what I could become.


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As the New Year starts, I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. Only I can change by choosing to do so.

As the New Year starts, I will no longer worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it. But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today.

As the New Year starts, I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration. This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better.

As the New Year starts, I will cherish each moment of my life. I value the gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others.

As the New Year starts, I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter. I will face challenges with courage and determination. I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self- improvement.

As the New Year starts, I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time.
Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.

As the year starts, I walk with renewed faith in human kindness. Regardless of what has gone before. I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future.

As the year starts, I will open my mind and my heart. I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people. I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.

As the year starts, I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy... admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favourite music, pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath...

Pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.

As the year starts, I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savour all the various flavours life has to offer. I will change what I can and the rest I will let go. I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be.

a HOPE to remember...

          As I was fixing my room the other day, I found some diskettes of projects I made when I was in college. I check them on my computer and I found a book report I had done in one of my classes.

          This particular book report was really special because it really captured my beliefs in life. I was probably very inspired when I was doing this as far as I can remember. I think I was in love with my college crush that time (hehe). This is one of the projects I made in which I am very proud of. My professor even commended me on this one.

         Well, I want to share this to all of you who will get to read this. I hope this will inspire you as it has inspired me. There was a reason I came across it again. Maybe at this point in my life I really need to have HOPE again! I know many of you out there feel hopeless but I hope that after reading this I could have at least given you a glimmer of hope.

         This is my book report on “Hope for the flowers” by Trina Paulus…


"somehow, waiting and not being sure was better than action she couldn't believe in."

         The book Hope for the Flowers is about a caterpillar named Stripe who wondered if there is more to life than just eating and crawling on the grass. Until one day, he saw a caterpillar pillar and decided to climb it and see what is on the top. On the way, he met another caterpillar named Yellow whom he fell in love with. They both decided to come down the pillar and just be together. They were happy but it was only temporary. Again, Stripe felt a need to climb the pillar to see if there is more to a caterpillar’s life. They both went their separate ways feeling sad. Yellow, on the other hand stayed and then he met another caterpillar that is making a cocoon for himself. She then discovered that butterflies come from caterpillars and was convinced that she must become one. This decision was for her to be able to help Stripe realized that becoming a butterfly is the purpose of a caterpillar. Finally, she became a butterfly and decided to come back for Stripe. When Stripe saw this yellow creature, he then realized that there is a butterfly inside of him. Yellow taught him how to become a butterfly and waited for his transformation until finally Stripe became one and they were together again.

         This book for me is very inspirational, young and old alike. This book has a simple story but has a very deep meaning on what life really is. It tells us a very important message of love, courage, and especially about hope. I remember when I first read this book in High School. I felt a certain coming of age because I was starting a new stage in my life. I have learned that a person must change to become a much better person.

         Sometimes in our life we feel like we are being monotonous because other people put us in certain stereotypes that make us afraid to do things in a different perspective. We always do what is expected of us, that the moment we go beyond, we are compelled to explain our actions. Personally, I hate the idea that we are being stereotyped. I believe that a person should be able to do things depending on what he believes in. Also, everyone should be entitled to make his or her own decisions. If you want to grow as a person, you must always embrace the idea of change. As what Confucius said, “nothing in this world is constant but change”. We must always do things differently to break the monotony in our life. Change comes from hope. When you hope for something, you wish to change. Change comes from within a person not from without. If you truly want to change you must be open to the idea. You cannot just utter it but do nothing about it. You must always take action, like what I always do. This is because I have a principle in life to always seize the moment. Meaning, that you must always grab an opportunity when it knocks. You must always find ways to reinvent yourself because it is the way to self-discovery and self-realization. Just like my friend and I say, that we are on our second coming of age. Life is like that, you continuously change as you learn new things and make new mistakes.

         Hope is also an important concept which one must possess if you want change. I told my friend once that the difference between the two of us is that I always make room for hope. Like when I give up on something or someone, I always give even an ounce of hope that maybe someday that person will change and things will be different. As long as there is hope, things will be different. It may not be soon but it will come in due time.

         Life is all about discernment; it is about making the right choices. I hate it when people say that they have no choice because you always have a choice. It may not be good choices that you want but still you have a choice. Let me give my guiding principles in life since I am so inspired in doing this project.

• Always speak your mind! This quality is often mistaken to be bad but the truth is that it is never wrong to speak your mind. Instead, people will admire you for being honest. I’d rather encounter straightforward people than backstabbing ones.
• Take action! Always know and go for what you want as long as you don’t step into other people’s head in the process. Live life to the fullest.
• Love unconditionally! In doing this, you do not only satisfy your romantic muscles but you show the person you love that you are worthy to be loved.
• Believe in the law of karma! What you give is what you get returned.
• Compromise! This is true especially to friends. We all have individual differences but that doesn’t mean we cannot be the best of friends. Friendship based on affinity is superficial while friendship based on respect gives you a different outlook in life.

         Lastly, I would like to stress out the real message of the book, which is hope. We used to have plenty of hope when we were young but somehow lost it along the way when we were growing up. I know this is hard to do especially to those who have given up completely. No matter how unattainable your dreams may seem, you must always keep in mind that as long as you live, there will always be hope. Remember, you inspire hope, meaning, that if you are full of hope then others will realize that they too have hope. The title of the book tells it all. You might be wondering why it is entitled “Hope for the Flowers” not “Hope for the caterpillars”. It is because without the butterflies there will be no hope for the flowers to propagate. Like life, it is a cyclical process. We all benefit from each other, one way or another.

         Life is too short to be living somebody else’s life. Live with dignity, live with pride. Just what our teacher Mrs. Fontanilla told us, “Life is too short, dye your hair”. It means that we shouldn’t be afraid to make choices that will constitute change in our life. One thing, which I think we have all learned in life, is that you cannot please everybody no matter what you do. So go ahead, live from love, live life, and live happy.

New Beginnings

Here I am again
Lost and I don’t know where to begin
It’s like history repeating itself
I have to hold on to myself

I have evolve through the years
I lost count of my tears
If change is something permanent
Then I have to seize this moment

Many friends have come and go
What went wrong, I don’t know
I say to myself, don’t worry
Maybe this is the way to be happy

Past hurts are of no value to me
I moved on so I can be me
The only thing that mattered
Is that I didn’t faltered

Would I make it on my own?
Even if sticks and stones are thrown
If this is my destiny
Then I will accept it gladly

I have encountered many struggles in my life
Like a country in strife
But I still stand with dignity
Against all adversity

I am shattered
My thoughts scattered
But I will pick up the pieces again
This time a new life will begin…

THE MOVIE IN THEIR MINDS...

         What a way to start my blog but with a political issue! I just can’t stand the present situation of Philippine politics right now. So without further ado, here is my reaction to the issue.

         You know what! I’m not really siding with Gloria nor am I condoning GMA’s action! What pisses me off is they are using the issue for their own personal agenda! The Philippines is so messed up already. We don’t need another revolution so why the hell are they provoking the people to revolt. They say they are doing this for the Philippines but what they are just doing is riling up the Filipinos to be more confused and jaded about the real problems and issues of our country. If they want GMA to resign, well they better back it up with someone who is really capable to govern our country. Otherwise I am still with the lesser evil.

         Many people don’t realize the gravity of running a country. Please! The Philippines is not a movie which is made for entertainment purposes. There are proper procedures for everything. So I do suggest that before they open their mouths and say words like RESIGN, CHEATING, JUNTA, or even the word PHILIPPINES, they should stop and think the following:

• Am I fighting for the greater good?
• Is it the truth?
• Are my causes beneficial to the majority or just a number of people?
• Do I have enough evidence to support my causes?
• Am I being just?

         If the answer to all this questions is a “YES”, then go ahead and rally in the streets! If one of this is a “NO”, then I do have four words to these people “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

-=The Gift of Being Single=-

I found a very interesting post on my friendster bulletin board and I would like to share this to you all! I think many of us can relate to this!


TOO often people want what they want, or think they want at the moment, which is usually "happiness" right now. The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by willingness to accept the bad with the good do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile.

I have a blessing which is sometimes seen as a curse. I am blessed with the gift of being single. For most of us twenty something young professionals, or simply single people it seems the world has already come up with its own set of expectations on how we should live life. The world expects us to finish school in our early twenties, get a job, find the love of our lives by the time we reach our mid-twenties, marry and have kids. But the thing is, not everyone sees their dreams come true in the same way.

In this entry, I shall try to endeavor to change the way the world looks at being single.

The Art of Contentment. For most of us, being single will be more of a phase than a final destination. This is the best place to practice the art of contentment. Someday, I'm sure most of us will fall in love and get married. But the thing is, love will always be tested. Someone more handsome, more charming, richer, funnier, sweeter would come along. If you have not practiced the art of contentment as a single person, chances are you would be tempted to want that and not cherish your chosen one. Practicing the Art of Contentment as a single person means that you take what life gives you, good or bad, you're willing to see it through. It means you don't walk away every time things get tough because it builds in you patience, perseverance, understanding and a hundred different virtues that people in a hurry will never have. Being single means you would find how it feels to be alone thus, allowing you to cherish every moment you spend wit! h your chosen one. The art of contentment means you wouldn't mind if life had to make you wait for so long to find the love of your life, because you know that the waiting would only make the finding much sweeter.

A Time to Know Yourself Better. Being single is a time of your life when you can get to know yourself better. You can pursue different interests and passions without having to ask another person's approval. It is a phase when you can keep focus on other things, discover your potentials and talents, and see yourself become more than what you expect to be. Allow yourself to surprise you. Stop wasting precious energy trying to figure out why you're still romantically unattached. It's all in the mind. Take the time to go see your friends, spend time with your family, do charity work and you will realize that you are not, and never for one moment, was alone. Try to get to know yourself first before you try to get to know other people. To be truly loved means to be known and accepted for who you are. How do you expect other people to know you and to love you, when you don't know who and what you really are?

A Choice between Good and Best. Sometimes the dilemmas we face are not between what is absolutely bad and absolutely good. Sometimes, it's between good and best. Treat this stage of your life as a phase to evaluate who is good for you and who is best for you. Sometimes, you won't hear music, or feel magic to know who's best for you. The heart just knows and it doesn't need any romantically charged scenario to decide on the matter. Trust in your heart, and trust that time will eventually lead you to, not to the perfect partner, but to the most suitable partner for you. Being single is a phase of life that we need to be thankful for, because being single means our hearts have yet to choose the best one for us.

There's nothing wrong with being single... Time will come... and you'll see...

Because of LOVE...

I dedicate this song to this thing
called "LOVE"

HAPPY VALENTINES TO ME!!!



"Because Of You"

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I watched you die I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young you should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of youI am afraid

Because of you
Because of you